Being bi-polar is fun.

It's the top of the ninth, you're in Wrigley and you're with 45,000 other screaming drunks. The Cardinals lost again. It comes down to one last pitch--one final strikeout. It's done. You've taken the lead in the division. Wait...HOLY HELL! We have the lead! YYYEEEEAAAHHH--





Yes! Yes! It's gonna happen! 1908 my ass, we're takin' it in 2009!

"But, it's only August. Your favorite month is coming up soon."

Shut up. This is our year. We can feel it. It's coming.

"You've said this for how many years now?"

Well, we beat the hell out of your Reds!

"OH. My God. You're right. What a feat that is. Holy shit."

Yeah, that's right. You might as well be a Cubbie fan, too.

"Hey, who do you play now?"

Marlins. We'll beat their ass.

"....oh yeah? Last I recall..."







"Shut up. That was then. This is now."

[a day passes]

"Hey, what's up?"

Fuck you.

"Whoa, hey...what's wrong?"

I don't want to talk about it.

"Sure?"

FUCKING GREGG, GOD DAMN HIS ASS!

"You were so happy a day ago, man."

This is a typical conversation carried on with a Cubs fan from Indiana. God bless 'em for having so much pride in their team and being over-emotional day in and day out. They continue on this pace, their short-lived lives will thin the herd.

On that note, go Reds and don't mess with Texas.

Aw, hell.

What a summer. I've only made time to do a couple of things:

- Work
- Sleep

Best summer I've had yet. From May through July, I had to serve my prison sentence at Five Star Distributing, a beer distribution center located in northern Indiana. Many times I worked 50 hours per week. Yay money, boo sleep. I also missed out on the simple things such as watching movies or heading out to the local watering hole with some friends. I've had no time for this. Some other examples/reasons I missed out on writing:

- Watching Pulp Fiction.

That's all that needs to be said, really. Now if you'll excuse me, I will start to write an article or two...and reach for my wallet...it's the one that says "Bad Mother Fucker."

Too busy. Piss off.

March 18th was my last post. Curious to know why? I'm dedicating my time toward work so that my exhaust would result in something similar to the image above. It's been one of the most irritating semesters of all-time. I have little to no time to post anything anymore. But by God (and West Virginia), I will not fold like I did with my old blog. So much shit has happened since the last post, that no one even gives a flying F anymore. Here's an idea of what's to come before the end of the school year:

- 2,500 word paper
- final project video/newscast package
- photoshop assignments (not easy if you're not a designer)

There's plenty more, but this is it. If I find time to post, I win. Otherwise...this will continue to be lame as a goat's sack. Wait, what?

In the meantime, hooray for baseball! Let's make it 101 years, Cubbies!

Holy shit, I can't fill out my brackets.

This year's NCAA Tournament is a giant mega cluster-you know what. There's nothing I can do. Ohio State vs Siena? UCLA vs VCU? Oklahoma State vs Tennessee? LSU vs Butler? What the hell am I to do?

...anyone have a quarter?

This is the only useful method for filling out this year's bracket for your office pool. First round may not be so bad, but the second round and beyond is what's going to make or break your shot at $50 or free lunch at your local Shoney's.

You can't automatically pick Duke because of their shit NCAA past. Oh, I'm a liar? Duke's so good? Oh well damn. Quit living in the past like those extreme ND football fans. You want proof of their suckiness? Here you go:





That's just the last two years. You know it's practically the same roster, so don't expect anything major from the Blue Devils. Before you start your bitching, conference champions are known to go home early. Ask Pitt.

I'm glad tomorrow is Thursday. I may want to skip class starting at 12:20 tomorrow. The whole country needs to shut down to witness the 2009 MADNESS. Good luck to all who are soon to throw their money away.

Return to reality

Well, I took a nice long break from blogging. Last week was spring break, and my professors jumped all over my ass because they needed an assignment or two. I'll take my damn time.

However, I did not quit--it was that a break from everything was required. Posting should return to its normal pace in the coming days.

In the meantime, enjoy this video of right-wing extremist Bill O'Reilly play a Nintendo classic:

The things that were

It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon. It's time to get away from Journalism 321 and kick off the shoes and socks and let that tease that is spring weather come right through my window.

What's stupid is that it is still February, and it feels like mid-March. It's basketball season, not baseball or football. No, I am still patient enough to wait to break it to my Cubbie friends that this year will make it 102 years of waiting. After a 3 hour nap and some good timing, it was close to ESPN360 time. When you can't provide your own TV, the laptop and the internets can be your next-to-best friend.

"Who's on tonight?" Listings say that Purdue and Michigan are facing off in Ann Arbor. Tensions rise easily because of the fact that it's Michigan. This was a good opportunity for me to see the Boilermakers advance toward a possible Big Ten regular season championship. Michigan, under the coaching of John Beilein, have proven to be a good team with flashes of greatness. Their victory over Duke in December was pretty exciting and gave many a newfound appreciation for Michigan basketball (The Fab 5 were awesome to watch growing up.)

Throw out that garbage. Purdue has 21 wins under their belt, and the Wolverines are fighting for an at-large spot at the Big Dance. The Boilers had a lead until near the 5 minute mark of the first half, and they never regained it. Michigan took complete control in the second half with the help of DeShawn Sims, who scored 29 points on the night. Once the final seconds ticked off of that scoreboard, it made me wonder how messed up the Big Ten really is.

What the hell happened?

You have teams like Michigan State losing at home to Penn State and Northwestern; you have Illinois posting 36 against Minnesota and 33 on Penn State for the entire game; and the brainy institution known as Northwestern is being considered as a 12 seed across some prognosticators' boards.

What?

Surely, you can't place Michigan State as high as ninth in either poll. That's a mistake. Friends and other guests are more than welcome to comment on this, but who here really thinks that any team from the Big Ten is going to advance to the Elite 8? Or even the Sweet 16 for that matter? The idea is ludicrous, and it's just not going to happen--just like a Cubs world championship isn't going to happen.

The bright side is that the Big Ten should be able to ship out a boat load of its members to the Madness. Michigan State, Illinois, Purdue, Ohio State and Penn State should be in. Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan have a small amount of time to do work with their resumes but strong finishes in the conference tournament would help their cause.

I miss seeing Big Ten like it used to be. Indiana, Purdue, Michigan, MSU, Wisconsin and Ohio State had some of the best teams I had ever seen in my life. Perhaps they will return to their true selves in a few years...

...or I'm just going to see them all lose to second and third-tier programs in the first round of the NCAA Tournament.

How to be a tool: Part 3

We have our own ways of expressing ourselves. Individualism is something we feel is necessary. We were told as young know-it-alls that we are "unique." Oh, there's a lot of unique people alright.

Through certain acts can some people be defined. We want to stand out amongst the crowd; we strive for attention. Many of the methods people choose are questionable, however.

What's a good way to show someone what's up? Hey, piercings are good.....on a girl. A stud isn't really too flashy, but for a dude, those big ass hoops that you are putting interest in makes one question the masculinity.

Piercings look awfully painful, and since I don't carry a second X-chromosome, I don't find it to be useful for anything. So what does that leave us with? Let's try to think of something that can be concealed...something that's a little more artsy. Something that has an equal amount of pain upon receiving the product. How can I make myself look more like a douche? Ah! A tattoo.

Nah, tattoos are OK. A few exceptions can be made. If you want to honor your fallen parents, sibling or best friend by having their image or initials associated with a Christian symbol--fine. That's good. Bible verses are cool too, but there are those that get carried away and want to have the entire book of Psalms inscribed on their body. Good luck.

The real heroes are the ones who have stupid ass, meaningless and irrelevant symbols and images someplace on their body. I mean, what the hell? Man, if this was all it took for me to be cool, I would have signed up a long time ago. This is what I've been missing out on for the last 21 years:

Damn. This is genius. How is it that I never thought of this before? Having the qualities of hot dogs, ketchup and mustard was something I always wanted to profess! Hot women will flock to me and ask, "So...you taste like Nathan's Hot Dogs or what?" Wrong, sweet cheeks; better.

If I wanted to look "gangsta," I would have struck myself silly with a crowbar. I have no desires to look like an asshole, even though the overwhelming majority dresses in a way to remind me that I'm just a little bitch. Right. Get an education first, form complete sentences and use real words so that I don't have to place you in a lower class. Your gun tattoo has already tainted your image and reputation--you're not frightening. Oh, you really do have a gun? On you? All strapped in? Bad news: So do I, and I'm crazier than you.

So what else could you get a tattoo of to be included in this "elite" list?

- Japanese cartoon characters
- Famous sports figures
- Fictional characters from famous movies.
- Spouse image (still alive)
- Girlfriend image (you're just dating after a few months)
- Foreign symbols that mean somethi--

I'm just going to stop right there at foreign symbols. What...the HELL...does it mean...when I see a picture of Asian calligraphy on your shoulder? When I play basketball at school, I see some sort of Chinese character on someone's chest when I'm guarding them. I'm fearful, because I don't know if I should expect for the person to yell something in Chinese, Japanese or Korean. I'm prepared for when they switch the 'L' and 'R' around, though. They also seem to be the threatening type, making up stories that they know Jiu-Jitsu. An elbow to the groin will settle that.

I'm not that quick to judge, but I know gang symbols and other associations when I see them. Come visit northwest Indiana and Chicago sometime. Anyways, when you include yourself in such an exlcusive group, you tell me many things: You do some things you really don't want to do. You are a coward. You are the boss' tool...and no, you don't get "dat stacka' paper!"

Tattoos get you attention, mainly unwanted attention. As judgmental as this sounds, you'll be surprised by how many people look down on you for the $200 pen and ink job that has the potential of becoming a waste. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Also, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship break ups are as common as corn fields here in the Midwest. Even if you do get hitched, piss your money away on something else, like a meth lab. You'll both feel really, really good for cheap.

Oh no you didn't!

Lane Kiffin suffered a serious dumbass attack earlier today. If this is how he understands the rulebook, then I'm scared to see what's going to happen when Tennessee begins their 2009 campaign. Here's to another 3-9 season and a 77-0 blowout loss to Florida.

Top 25 Worst NFL Draft Picks Ever.

Today, I feel awful. It's just been a lousy day with school and other work. I'm going to remind you all how awesome life was in the last few decades, and how some of your favorite teams were devastated by making a few poor draft decisions. There is no particular order...except for #1.

25. Todd Blackledge

We know Blackledge today as a color commentator on ESPN and CBS Sports. He was an outstanding quarterback at Penn State, but when he was drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs, he developed a syndrome called "PSU grad, therefore sucks." He's insightful to a lot of us viewers, but he sure as hell didn't have any clue when he stepped on the field.

24. David Klingler

Bombs away? More like bombed the hell out of my poor city. As a Cincinnati fan, I'll take claim of this awful pick. In other words, I'll admit that we are among the worst when it comes to GM's [cough] Matt Millen...but anyways, Klingler put up HUGE numbers for the Houston Cougars, but he failed to put up any numbers with the Bengals.

23. Chris Weinke

I'm sorry, I don't want some old ass leading my team. He was 29 when he finally made it to the NFL a la Florida State. Everything would have been better for Carolina if they just let him listen to music all day on the sidelines.

22. Tim Couch

Many experts and scouts considered him the nation's best player when he came out of high school. Few thought he'd excel when he played his collegiate career out of the University of Kentucky. He still ended up being the #1 pick overall, and he finished his career as the #1 douche rocket.

21. Courtney Brown

Another wasted #1 pick for Cleveland. They aren't known as the Mistake by the Lake for nothing. This poor sap from Penn State was considered to be an outstanding defensive lineman who will make plays. He fizzled out of there quicker than shit through a goose.

20. Ki-Jana Carter

Ki-Jana looks very frustrated, as he looks tired...someone get this man a drink. Yet another Penn State mishap, Carter was in line to salvage Cincinnati's running game. 1997 couldn't come quicker when Corey Dillon's name was on the board. No one knows of Carter's whereabouts or his current occupation.


19. Akili Smith

He has no friends, or he doesn't accept diversity. While Jon Kitna is discussing the playbook with a fellow QB, Smith wonders why he sucks. Many of Smith's teammates kept their distance. They were afraid his ineptitude would rub off on to them.

18. Andre Ware

Hey, he's a Heisman Trophy winner! Now where did he play again? Detroit? Oh. Oh well, he looks good wearing a headset. The booth keeps him safe from making more costly errors.

17. Heath Shuler

Former Tennessee quarterback Heath Shuler had high hopes of having an outstanding career in the NFL. His hopes and dreams were soon broken when he joined the Washington Redskins. A tragedy on the field at best, Shuler is currently a representative in the United States Congress. Interesting twist, Bill Bradley wannabe.

16. Brett Favre
He sucks. Next.

15. Cade McNown

During his time at UCLA, McNown was being compared to the likes of Troy Aikman...even when Aikman was at UCLA, the scouts thought he sucked. But he flourished with Dallas. Could the Bruin prodigy bring hope to Chicacgo?

...well, if you look up all of Chicago's quarterbacks (except McMahon) history does not serve them well. McNown was another Windy City Disaster.

14. Curtis Enis

I just laugh every time I see his image because now he's a furniture mover...in Indiana! Quick, kids! Get out the cameras and sharpies!

13. Todd Marinovich

Judging his hair...this guy looks like a douche bag. Hey! I remember somebody else from USC who wore #13...hmm...douche.

12. Joey Harrington

By far, the greatest picture conceived by fan...from Detroit. It's as if he was to be blessed by Matt Millen. Oh, he was blessed alright...

11. Rick Mirer

Poor guy. Goshen is close to home for me, and to see Mirer get rocked almost all the time, it was hard to watch Seattle as a kid. And Seattle even had Shawn Kemp (from Elkhart, Ind.) play for the Sonics! However, both Kemp and Mirer turned out to be huge failures. Indiana needs to represent more...

10. Tony Mandarich

He looks like a damn pilot wearing a Green Bay hat you would find at a Truck Stop. He was called the greatest player to ever be recruited. Wow. Whoops!

9. Archie Griffin

Alright, so this guy won 2 Heisman Trophies. Big deal. It means NOTHING unless you win at the next level. Also, it was pretty hard to find a picture of Griffin in a pro uniform. The Buckeyes have been long proud of good players that don't amount to anything in the NFL.

8-6. (Tyrone Wheatley, Tim Biakabatuka, Chris Perry)

So...this isn't the Michigan RB trio. And Perry wasn't in the same time period. The newspaper from Ann Arbor says all that needed to be said.

5. Desmond Howard

He strutted it. He stroke the Heisman pose. He still wasn't that good.

4. Charles Rogers

One of many wasted picks at WR by Millen. Rogers had an excellent senior season at Michigan State, but he failed to continue his route-running and failed to use his hands adequately. Just another eyesore for the Detroit Lions.

3. Mike Williams

Oh boy. I know this is about Mike Williams, but take a look at who he's standing with. Shaun Cody. Guess what both have in common? They both do nothing. They're both wastes, but at least Cody gets to suit up on Sundays. Williams was just another over-hyped USC wide receiver. Sad, sad, sad.

2. Lawrence Phillips

I really don't know what to say about him. The "captured" text underneath his picture says it all. He definitely captured the eyes and ears of the media and viewers at home for his off-field issues. The Nebraska product only put up 1,400 yards rushing in just three years in the NFL. I'm certain that he's wearing a different kind of "blackshirt" at whatever "happy camp" he's at now.

1. Ryan Leaf

Legend. Need I say more...? I probably shouldn't, or he would yell for me to "knock it off!"

There will be an honorable mention list, in which you could throw in your duds in the comment box.

Feelin' kinda Sunday...

Today moves me to tears. No one close to me has died [fingers crossed] but today will mark the end of the NFL season. As we make our way to the exits, we will be met by the bitter cold and boringness that is winter sport. I love basketball to death, but it's meaningless until March or during the NBA playoffs. That's ways out from now...but today, I salute you, dear football fans. I salute you, NFL players who are making way too much more money than me. Most importantly, I salute to all who are serving our country. Without the armed forces, we wouldn't have crazy awesome crap like this. It's Super Bowl Sunday, baby. Let's bask in the glory as millions of viewers across the world witness the grand finale of American football.







God bless this beautiful game. I'm going to miss you this offseason.

Early Projections of The Madness (1/29)

After closely monitoring last night's games, I had no choice but to think "Wow, so nobody wants to be #1." Last night was yet another disaster for most ranked teams. #4 Wake Forest stood their own ground in Winston-Salem last night, defeating Duke with an in-bounds play to knock off the Blue Devils 70-68. It was definitely a thriller, in case you missed out.

In other news, #15 Syracuse lost. So did #3 Pittsburgh. And so did #23 Georgetown. This definitely shakes up the picture for March, but I'm going to take a stab at my projections with the seedings.

EAST (Boston bracket)
1 Duke vs. 16 Austin Peay
8 Tennessee vs. 9 Davidson
5 Illinois vs. 12 Notre Dame
4 UCLA vs. 13 Northern Iowa
6 Syracuse vs. 11 LSU
3 Clemson vs. 14 Navy
7 Purdue vs. 10 Oklahoma State
2 Xavier vs. 15 Cornell

MIDWEST (Indianapolis bracket)
1 North Carolina vs. 16 Stephen F. Austin
8 Boston College vs. 9 Minnesota
5 Arizona State vs. 12 Utah State
4 Villanova vs. 13 Buffalo
6 California vs. 11 Baylor
3 Michigan State vs. 14 North Dakota State
7 Missouri vs. 10 Cincinnati
2 Marquette vs. 15 East Tennessee State

SOUTH (Memphis bracket)
1 Oklahoma vs. 16 Morgan State/Alabama State
8 Washington vs. 9 UNLV
5 Virginia Tech vs. 12 Texas A&M
4 Memphis vs. 13 Vermont
6 Gonzaga vs. 11 Penn State
3 Butler vs. 14 VMI
7 Florida State vs. 10 Siena
2 Pittsburgh vs. 15 Texas A&M-Corpus Christi

WEST (Phoenix bracket)
1 Connecticut vs. 16 Robert Morris
8 St. Mary's vs. 9 Utah
5 Kentucky vs. 12 Providence
4 Kansas vs. 13 Western Kentucky
6 Miami (FL) vs. 11 Dayton
3 Florida vs. 14 Virginia Commonwealth
7 West Virginia vs. 10 Mississippi State
2 Louisville vs. 15 Portland State

The World is Going to Hell in a Handbasket

It's OK. No one is watching...especially your children.

We're finally reaching that point...the point that we all feared of. It's been an ongoing process for years and years, but it doesn't cycle around this time.

Hey, we voted Democrat this year, didn't we? This should solve ALL of our problems. It worked in the past for the Clinton administration! Slash spending, increase taxes, get more moolah in the budget and produce more jobs! See, everything was just PERFECT between the years of 1993 and 2000. We were so good, we let some of the most wanted terrorists go while we had a firm grip on them!

OK, enough of the right-wing crap...and the sarcasm. We are in big trouble in case you haven't noticed, ladies and gentlemen. If it wasn't an issue in the past, it sure as hell is now. Monday is being dubbed as "Bloody Monday" for the massacring of the employed. In just one big swoop, it seemed like everything was imploding:

- It's lights out for Circuit City.
- Phizer could 'phinally' give in to the drug cartels.
- Caterpillar being eaten by 'larger birds.'
- Alcoa succumbs to symptoms similar to alcohol poisoning.
- Sprint Nextel has achilles snap, lets go of race and employees.
- TDK gets TKO'd
- Home Depot soon becomes official resting place for migrant workers.
- ING takes beatING.
- Intel not intelligent enough to increase revenue.
- Microsoft becoming "micro" and "soft."
- Texas Instruments can't calculate total amount of losses, damage.
- John Deere fading from green and gold to rust...

...and that was just for Monday.

Today, they announced that more than 11,000 jobs are being cut, on top of the 70,000+ jobs lost yesterday. Target plans on releasing 1,500 employees, which also affects the headquarters in Minneapolis, Minn. For those who don't know, Target is #2 behind Wal-Mart in retail outlets. (For those that already know about Target, you already know that Wal-Mart sucks in comparison) Regardless, this isn't good. I love Target.

Corning, known for high-tech glass and ceramics is nearing the point of folding shop as they plan on letting go 3,500 employees by the end of the year. Cutting 13% of the company's work force sucks. Even a local group--the Navistar plant out of Indianapolis is shutting their doors, barring 700 employees from what was a solid wage. This can't be happening...say it ain't so!

It's happening. It's real. In fact, people are being...well, too real about it.

One nice little family story can be found here.

You don't...do...these...things. The children have caused many problems throughout their parents' lives, yes, but they didn't lose your job for you. It can be agreed upon, however, that they are the cause of you losing your mind. In all seriousness, this is a tragedy. This is only the second time within a two month span that one man chose to blast his whole family, then turning the gun on himself. Sad.

I don't plan on jumping off of a cliff anytime soon, but that doesn't mean anybody should be over-looking a nice rocky bottom right now. This ship better be turned around soon, or by God, I will hope for 2012 to happen. 12/21/12--bring it.

Non-Giants fans: "Don't be an Asshole."

The Week in Review: Photos

"Tell me what's wrong, son." "I suck!!!"

[sigh]

"Why? Why can't we win in Austin?"

O'Neal: "I got yo face."
Thomas: "I got yo fans."

"Hey! We're ranked! Where's Tennessee?"

"DERRRRRRRRRR!!!"

"Could you get your thumb out of my ass, please? Thanks."

"Oh no...I can't win at anything."

"Hey Calipari, screw the polls. Let me know when you win A CHAMPIONSHIP!"

EMBARRASSING.

I'd be sad over 41-point loss, too.

If you've glued your hands to your chair, which is glued to the floor, with the TV station fixed on ESPN, then you've seen how much of a disaster college basketball has been. For those who are boring and have no interest, allow me to bring you up-to-date:

Last Wednesday, another #1 team fell to the hands of a second-tier conference rival. Wake Forest was aimed to keep a perfect season when they hosted Virginia Tech. The Hokies aren't too terrible at basketball, they've knocked off teams like Duke and North Carolina in the last three seasons, and they've been making their tournament appearances (even if they bow out early to crap teams.)

Carrying the same attitude in previous games when they play spoiler: The Hokies just didn't give a damn. Their defense held, the offense scored when they needed to, and they got more than 10,000 people in black and gold to shut up. Wake Forest's dream of finishing the season undefeated and number one lasted one week (however, such dreams should only last a week.) It was embarrassing to see. Good for the Hokies--They're trying to not suck. Not good for the ACC or number one's in general. Nothing is safe.

The same thing went for perennial Big Ten leader Michigan State, who appeared to be the only member of the conference worth watching this season. On the same night that Wake Forest quit basketball, Northwestern paid a visit to the Breslin Center in East Lansing. If you're not that familiar with Wildcat sports, they don't seem to care much for winning. The only thing they want to win are multi-million dollar grants and the top spot in the U.S. News and World Report rankings for best school. Wednesday night was one of those nights that NU student-athletes said "F the Quantum Physics exam" and decided to play. The Wildcats went into one of the toughest places to play in the nation and beat then-#7 Michigan State by seven.

Seven must be the lucky number, right? Could Maryland start the crazy weekend and upset second-ranked Duke by such a margin?

Hell no.

The Terrapins got trucked. Manhandled. Raped. Maimed. Embarrassed. What a disastershow it was at Cameron Indoor Stadium today. When I had first awoken, I read the scoreboard feed, only to see

(In the second half:)
Duke 60
Maryland 20

Umm...why? Who pissed Duke off? Michigan? It's understandable if that was the case, but in all seriousness, Maryland looked like they belong the MAC or the Patriot League. The final score was 85-44 in favor of the Blue Devils, but it was just embarrassing to see such garbage on my television set.

Here, I was thinking this weekend was going to be a great one for sports fans. It's exciting, yes, but the majority of these games have been a waste of time for me and many fans (See: Michigan State, Wake Forest) I just hope Notre Dame decides to show up tonight against Connecticut since this is the last day that they'll keep their home court win streak. I hope the months of February and March show up to be a little kinder.

So that's how it's going to be, huh?

Obama (seated) signs the death warrant for all of us, with the approval of the white-hairs.

Is that how it's going to be, Mr. President?

As expected, the 44th President of the United States' first business was to sign a piece of paper. That's great. One down, thousands more to go if we're going to get the change "we need." The first piece of legislation was a big deal though, which ordered the complete shutdown of the prison at Guatanamo Bay, the last stronghold of the U.S. in the nice, happy people's republic of Cuba.

Let's think about this for a moment: Guantanamo Bay has kept a number of terrorists...well, at bay. Some have been proven to be not guilty for any wrongdoing. They were rightfully released, but the same story does not apply to all of the inmates. There are still those who admitted to plotting the September 11 attacks. The very people who assisted in putting together the single-worst terrorist attack in history are about to get away.

Yes, that's right. Get away. Freedom. For them.

"No more torture from the U.S." This is what Obama is promising to the Muslim world. I do not disagree with the concept. I embrace the idea that we should love one another, even our enemies. But, in releasing these prisoners and members of a number of terrorist organizations, are we doing everyone justice? Is this our way of improving our relations with the Middle East?

I just don't know. I can't say anything because I haven't seen anything too negative. No one has.

Yet.

Upon reading today's story on the Clinton News Network, the former inmates have reportedly returned to "the battlefield." When a story is put in those words under those circumstances...that honestly concerns the hell out of me. I refuse to jump off of the deep end and say, "Obama's a terrorist! He's going to run the country into the ground! Everything is going to hell in a handbasket!" I'm not that far right-winged but I don't lean left, either.

I don't want there to be another terrorist attack in my country. Enough blood has been shed, as well as enough tears--BOTH SIDES. If I wake up one morning to see that Chicago's Sears Tower has been attacked, and if the people who are about to be released are on the plane or flip the switch--it's going to be very difficult to forgive a man whom millions have had hope inspired because of his eloquent speaking.

We certainly are the people who roll the dice on a daily basis. Things have gone against us in recent times, but our gambles have sometimes paid off. Let's just hope they were right this time.

OH NOES!!!

"Yes? I need to put in a hit on my replacement, address 4298 North..."

Plaxico Burress, now released by the New York Giants, was replaced by another receiver after an off-field incident that was the result of a dumbass attack. The dumbass attack? Shooting yourself in the leg. Taye Biddle from Ole Miss was signed by the Giants to be Plax's replacement.

Though Plax may not be the sole reason for the Giants' early postseason exit, his replacement sure as hell was supposed to get them somewhere. But, since no one ever heard of the name Taye Biddle (except in Oxford, Mississippi), he was doomed to not amount to anything. It's all in the history books--if no one has ever heard of you, you will go nowhere. This is taught at most schools nationwide.

Some of you may remember Burress' incident where he shot himself in the leg. Little did any of us know that this could happen again...on the same team...in the leg...Plax's replacement. He didn't shoot himself, no, but the fact remains that a gun and a leg were involved in the same place at the same time.

This is irony at its finest. Speedy recovery for Mr. Biddle (which makes me want to make random references to Austin Powers) and hopefully his replacement wears body armor for the lower half of his body everywhere he goes. Everyone knows that the gunmen never goes for the chest when they get in a gunfight.

How to be a tool: Part 2 (Sports Fanatic)

Tips on how to be a tool is part of an on-going series that will be posted here throughout, and will perhaps give you a glimpse of what my first book will be about. Today's lesson involves people tooling themselves when it comes to their favorite sports teams.

Times come again and again when you have been wanting to put that jersey you've had in your closet during the three to five months of the off-season. You feel rejuvenated. There is something in the air...you just know that this year is going to be your year. It's just an awesome feeling when that first day of either equinox arrives--the weather's perfect, and now is the time to go all out and show your loyalty.

"Yeah, body paint's good. Oh, you're gonna paint your...wait, no...why?"

"No, please, no. Don't cry. It's only going to run the paint...don't cry, there's no need to."

"Oh, but what the hell is that on your head? Is that supposed to be something?"

"Why don't you just go home and lay down, then. You look like a disaster."

People have just taken it too far these days. They want to show others how tough their favorite team is by wearing spiked shoulder pads and fake crazy hair. They wear a jersey with the entire team's signatures on it...which is silly, because all that 'valuable ink' would only fade. They're just adding an additional 10-15 lbs worth of crap to show that they're the ultimate fan. Some are aware that there is no prize in "best dressed," but a crap ton of others believe otherwise, and will dispute verbally over such a title.

To examine a sports fan "tool," let's dissect this for a moment:



Replica Ohio State jersey...check.
That's all you need, really. Now for the other accessories...

Spiked shoulder pads...check.
Sweatband though you will not sweat one drop tonight...check.
Sign for everyone can see...check.
Mocking a rival that's better than you...check.
Crazy red and white hair...check.
Poor spelling for everyone to see...check.

This guy has completely lost it. He looks to be in his 40's, and it looks like schooling came to an end somewhere in his mid-teen's. I'm curious to know if he was employed at the time this photo was taken. Anyways, why would you want to do this to yourself, especially if your team can't step up in any of the big bowl games? You're only over-doing it for...well, nothing. Way to make yourself look like an ass.

Let's take another look at another fan:



Sweet specs...check.
Jaguar replica jersey...check.
Foam Jaguar paw on head...check.
Sweet 'stache...check.
Pom pom tied to your hair...check.

This is just becoming...sad. Once again, a poor delusional fan who has fallen into the trap of cheering for a second-tier team and "going the distance." Oh, he went the distance alright...went the distance from being a normal Jacksonville fan to being a tool box. What's worse is that this picture is posted all over the internets for me to find.

So far, so good, right? I'm just basically showing you how you shouldn't be going about yourself with people. However, there is one more breed of fan that I have yet to mention: The fan who cheers for the inevitable. They are the most dedicated of fans, and will cheer for their team, win or lose. See, this is respectable. You want to stick with your team to the very end instead of being a real tool and cheer for the front-runner teams. Fair-weather fans suck, and these fans know about that best.

When it comes to cheering for a team, do you really want to find yourself cheering for a team that doesn't know what it's like to win a championship? Do you really want to cheer for a team that has gone an entire century without winning a World Series? These people people invest all they have into these teams in hope that some day, their day will come. For others, they know that it's just not going to happen. A pat on the back and a soft chuckle is the only thing we can offer to these poor saps. Their team's constant flops often result in this:



If you know that this is going to happen, then why bother dealing with the tragedies afterwards? There's nothing worse then talking up about your favorite team winning a championship when they have gone 100 years without doing so. As for this sad girl in the pic above, I can only say what Tom Hanks ever said to women about baseball: "Are you crying? Don't cry...there's no crying in baseball!"

Today, you have seen the many truths about sports fanatics. People are getting better at making themselves look like tools without ever knowing any of the consequences. Stay tuned next time for part 3 of this series: Tattoos.

PREVIEW: The Arizona Cardinals (11-7)

Behold: 20+ guaranteed fantasy points.

What a remarkable season it has been for the Arizona Cardinals. For a while, they were the bottom of the league, hanging out with the deformed and crippled teams, such as Detroit, Cincinnati, and Cleveland. In the past, they could always be relied on in the last week of the regular season if they were 3-12 going against an 8-8 team with playoff hopes. Arizona came into existence because they crush hopes and dreams.

This season, they're the playoff contenders. So far, no one else has been playing as the underdog to knock these guys out. They have an old man taking snaps behind the center, and this is the best he's looked since the 1999 Super Bowl. Of course, I'm talking about Kurt Warner; the one true underdog.

He was bagging groceries after the Green Bay Packers first signed him, then told him to bugger off. Now, after given another chance by the St. Louis Rams, Warner has one championship under his belt, along with a number of other awards. Working through so many arena league and Canadian football teams, he has worked his way to the top. Completing 67% of his passes for over 4,500 yards, the Arizona Cardinals have never looked so dangerous before.

The ground game includes a Hall Of Fame hopeful, and a rookie at halfback. Edgerrin James was a star for the Indianapolis Colts in the early 2000's, but he was traded to Arizona two years ago after they decided to draft a new running back. Marshall Faulk, former teammate of Warner, can empathize with that. James doesn't pile up the stats like he used to, and he has recently asked to be traded away if his job only consisted that of an offensive lineman. Rookie Tim Hightower out of the University of Richmond has been getting the touchdowns instead of Edge this season. Only rushing for 399 yards, Hightower was able to reach the end zone 10 times during the regular season.

Also, if you have yet to fly with United Fitzgerald or Boldin Airways:





That's all you need to know, really.

Fitzgerald: 96 receptions, 1,431 yards, 12 touchdowns
Boldin: 89 receptions, 1,038 yards, 11 touchdowns

Compared to the other three teams, Arizona has the worst defense:

POINTS ALLOWED: 26.6 per game (28th)
TOTAL YARDS ALLOWED: 331.5 per game (19th)
PASSING YARDS ALLOWED: 221.2 per game (22nd)
RUSHING YARDS ALLOWED: 110.2 per game (16th)

Yuck. There's no wonder that they lost seven games this season, but they locked up the division early in the season, so there was no need to stretch things out and go for the number one seed in the NFC. Despite those numbers, they have a strong defense, and can't shut down offenses at will. They have already taken care of Atlanta and Carolina, so there is no reason why they shouldn't be prepared for Philadelphia on Sunday. Also, watch out for this guy--Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. He's a rook, and even though he comes from Tennessee State, he has the talent of that his cousin, Antonio Cromartie of the San Diego Chargers. He is a late-arrival as far as playing time and positioning, but he is playing like a stud.

Tomorrow, I will post my predictions for both the AFC and NFC Championships. In the meantime, enjoy your weekend full of college hoops and such. Syracuse, if you can read this:

I hate you.

Real Talk with the Krod: Vol.1 Issue 1

"Dude, check this out: This is when Adam fell down on his face in the snow in his driveway."
"Ha ha! Nice! Check out this fort I made with the snow in the front yard!"
"Ha, that's cool."
[third person comes in]
"Gentlemen...what's the word?"
"Oh, hey man! Nothin' we're just basically showing pics of winter."
"Yeah? That's boring. Well, I think I can top that. You know Betsy, right?"
[both say]: "Yeah."
[hands phone over]
"Dude, how did you get that?"
"What can I say, I'm a lucky fella."
"I knew she was hot...but, man!"
"Yeah, I know. Everybody keeps trading them around."

It's interesting, isn't it? Isn't it amazing how things evolve when we grow up and out of elementary school? There's always seems to be a craze. In my generation, whatever was popular, everybody had to be a part of it. For example, everyone was involved in Power Rangers (even the girls!) At my old school, we used to trade around certain vehicles (or Zords, which is what they were called then) and the figures themselves. It did not take long for the Power Rangers to fizzle out when they finally came out with their 12th different version in a span of five years.

Everyone had their own niche. Kids traded sports cards with each other. We borrowed really sweet Super Nintendo games from each other. Once that fazed out, we turned to playing card games. I don't mean your typical poker, solitaire, blackjack, rummy, or Tripoli. No, we had this new thing called "Pokemon," short for pocket monsters. Lord knows how much money was pissed away on those things. But, the kid that used to be in us is now long gone. We still hold on to some things such as old video games, baseball cards, and some action figures. Some of those things actually hold value, now. Old action figures that used to cost us $11 at Target are now worth $150 or more to others, 10-20 years later.

However, today's generations of young teens have something else to be trading around: Pictures of themselves.

No, these are not your own personal trading card you designed yourself. This isn't from the help any professional photographers. These are amateurs, and they are mainly taking nude pictures of themselves with their cell phones. You would be surprised to know how many teenagers in middle and high schools are using their phones as portable porn devices.

Research conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy last month revealed that 20 percent of teens in the States say they have sent or posted lewd photos or video of themselves.

According to the national study, most teenagers who were sending the explicit messages were sending them to boyfriends or girlfriends, while others said they were sending the pictures in a bold move to secure a date, or to someone they had got to know online.

It's the craze! Ridiculous and wrong, this is what is has come down to now. While this is slowly becoming 'Kids Gone Wild,' there have been a series of arrests made in the last year, especially this week alone.

On Monday, six high school students in Greensburgh, Pennsylvania were arrested on child pornography charges. Three were girls who allegedly took pictures of themselves, and were charged with manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography. Three were boys from the same school who were found with explicit photos on their mobile phones by police, and were charged with possession of child pornography.

Last year, in Goshen, Ohio a 19-year-old cheerleading coach was convicted of indecency charges after taking a topless photo of herself and a 15-year-old girl.

While in Texas, a 13-year-old boy was arrested on child pornography charges in October, after receiving a nude photo of a fellow student on his mobile phone.

In an interview with the Cincinnati Enquirer, Jim Brown, a school resource officer at Glen Este High School, thinks that it would be no surprise in how many students carry such pictures on their phone.

"If I were to go through the cell phones in this building right now of 1,500 students, I would venture to say that half or two-thirds have indecent photos, either of themselves or somebody else in school."

The study also showed that 44 percent of teens say it's common for sexually explicit images and text messages to be shared with people other than the intended recipient. I can guarantee you that my skankalicious alma mater at Huntington North High School would see the same numbers, if not, more.

There is an official term for this, and it is known as 'sexting.'

It's finally happening. This is real. Parents are becoming more laid-back and less responsible for their children's acts and behavior. While most teenagers make the least intelligible decisions, it would be the ones who own the pictures who would land in the most trouble. It's called child pornography. You can have yourself registered as a sex offender at such an early age. Before you begin your adult life, you would be risking your reputation (although, I don't think anyone gives a damn anymore) as your face would be etched alongside of those who are really into kiddie porn. Talk about being in such good company, huh?

Many of you think that this should concern me because I am only 21 years old and a college student. I do not have any kids, I am unwed. Despite that, I would expect for my kids to know better than to expose themselves publicly in such a lewd manner.

The message is simple: Be smart. As we go through the generations, we collect and traded things that hold some worth. As the next generations come through, they will be holding something else that holds a different value--time in confinement, and owing money that they don't really have.

Why the NBA is no longer valid

Editor's Note: Today, we have a guest speaker at McGahee's Knee. He is an all out Pittsburgh fan, which means he includes Duquesne University into his T-Mobile's 'Fave 5.' A friend and former colleague, he is best known for his wit. As much as he would like to move to Pittsburgh, he is stuck in Indiana, where everything for the most part is lame. He writes to McGahee's knee after watching a 'simple' game of basketball. Today, I present to you: Eric.


Personally, last night was the last time I think I will ever watch the NBA. Before I was getting ready for bed, I flipped it to channel 206, which is ESPN for those that don't have Direct TV (which anyone that knows me I watch ESPN quite a bit). The Spurs and the Lakers were playing so I figured there was three minutes left so I would watch the end of this game. The game was played well so it was a tight and enjoyable game. Then, with 10 seconds left to go in the game, I remembered why I haven't been watching the NBA. Kobe Byrant hit a clutch three over Roger Mason Jr. and it was a beautiful clutch shot but his reaction to the crowd (and kids who have court side seats) disgusted me. He moved over to the bench while gesturing a gesture I shall not repeat or even explain. What makes this even worse is now in a day in age where we have an African-American president-elect, the media, ESPN, or the internet (google) won't show you the picture because Kobe is an inspiration to many young African-Americans and it is not politically correct. This is why the NBA's ratings are so low. Ron Artest, Ben Wallace, Kobe Byrant, Stephen Jackson's are destroying the league. The days of great men like David Robinson are over, the days of thugs and men who aren't really men are upon us and I, for one, am done. No matter what happens during the NFL season, I won't watch the NBA. I will watch IU struggle to win, the great Pitt Panthers, and watch the Penguins continue to lose. But that is another story for another time. I can no longer continue to justify the NBA for being a valid program for me, the youth of America, and any taxpaying man or woman in this country.


Kobe (I can get out of any criminal charge) Bryant

PREVIEW: The Philadelphia Eagles (11-6-1)

Ugly. I don't think you can find a better word to describe their season. Despite the image of their is that of a pock-faced, Proactiv needing and unkempt person, they were able to reach the playoffs this season. Who should they be thanking for their sixth spot in the National Football Conference's spot? The Cincinnati Bengals. That 13-13 deadlock ultimately turned out to be the factor that left Philadelphia in the playoff position.

Donovan McNabb, Philadelphia's town idiot, made this infamous statement on the current NFL rulebook:

"I've never been a part of a tie. I never even knew that was in the rule book," he said after the game. "It's part of the rules, and we have to go with it." The NFL's overtime rule was adopted in 1974, and 17 games have since ended tied. I guess we're aware of it now," McNabb said. "... I hate to see what would happen in the Super Bowl and in the playoffs."

There you have it. Mind-blowing, is it not? He's Philly's fearless leader. With the high magnitude of dumbassery, McNabb has shown true leadership this season as he was able to bounce back from his idiocy and led his offense to a great post-season run.

McNabb has thrown for over 4,000 yards this season, along with 23 touchdowns and 11 interceptions. His QB rating is sub-par, but his numbers and the last several games spoke loudly to make his case. It is the first time he has started all 16 games since the 2003 season, when the Eagles made their Super Bowl run against the New England Patriots.

Running back Brian Westbrook looks to be in good shape once again, but he fell short of having a 1,000 yard regular season in rushing. Scoring nine times this season, Westbrook looks to have another good run at the Super Bowl. If not at all, this could be his best shot at winning a championship. Do not forget that their other back, Correll Buckhalter, has been able to get a couple of scores in as well.

Rookie DeSean Jackson, a California product, made quite the statement. 62 catches for 912 yards makes him look like a stud. Despite having only two touchdowns on the season and making a really...REALLY bad bone-headed play, this kid sure has some speed. This definitely was not a waste of a draft pick for Philadelphia. He is a great asset to the team, and he will continue to work hard; day in, and day out.

Philadelphia's defense has looked strong at some points...they've been inconsistent in comparison to the likes of Baltimore and Pittsburgh:

POINTS ALLOWED: 26.0 per game (6th best)
TOTAL YARDS ALLOWED: 350.5 per game (9th best)
PASSING YARDS ALLOWED: 244.4 per game (6th best)
RUSHING YARDS ALLOWED: 106.1 per game (22nd best)

The whole rushing yards thing isn't looking too good. Arizona will try to get the ground game going with Edgerrin James, Tim Hightower and J.J. Arrington before they look to go through the air to Larry Fitzgerald and a now-healthier Anquan Boldin. They've been able to shut down the Giants' run game in the Meadowlands (which is impressive) however.

Do not be shocked if Philadelphia's special teams show up. They've got speed in Jackson and fellow rookie Quentin Demps out of Texas-El Paso. All that needs to be said is that Demps is good:



I'd be excited as Gus Johnson (announcer) too.