We have our own ways of expressing ourselves. Individualism is something we feel is necessary. We were told as young know-it-alls that we are "unique." Oh, there's a lot of unique people alright.
Through certain acts can some people be defined. We want to stand out amongst the crowd; we strive for attention. Many of the methods people choose are questionable, however.
What's a good way to show someone what's up? Hey, piercings are good.....on a girl. A stud isn't really too flashy, but for a dude, those big ass hoops that you are putting interest in makes one question the masculinity.
Piercings look awfully painful, and since I don't carry a second X-chromosome, I don't find it to be useful for anything. So what does that leave us with? Let's try to think of something that can be concealed...something that's a little more artsy. Something that has an equal amount of pain upon receiving the product. How can I make myself look more like a douche? Ah! A tattoo.
Nah, tattoos are OK. A few exceptions can be made. If you want to honor your fallen parents, sibling or best friend by having their image or initials associated with a Christian symbol--fine. That's good. Bible verses are cool too, but there are those that get carried away and want to have the entire book of Psalms inscribed on their body. Good luck.
The real heroes are the ones who have stupid ass, meaningless and irrelevant symbols and images someplace on their body. I mean, what the hell? Man, if this was all it took for me to be cool, I would have signed up a long time ago. This is what I've been missing out on for the last 21 years:
Through certain acts can some people be defined. We want to stand out amongst the crowd; we strive for attention. Many of the methods people choose are questionable, however.
What's a good way to show someone what's up? Hey, piercings are good.....on a girl. A stud isn't really too flashy, but for a dude, those big ass hoops that you are putting interest in makes one question the masculinity.
Piercings look awfully painful, and since I don't carry a second X-chromosome, I don't find it to be useful for anything. So what does that leave us with? Let's try to think of something that can be concealed...something that's a little more artsy. Something that has an equal amount of pain upon receiving the product. How can I make myself look more like a douche? Ah! A tattoo.
Nah, tattoos are OK. A few exceptions can be made. If you want to honor your fallen parents, sibling or best friend by having their image or initials associated with a Christian symbol--fine. That's good. Bible verses are cool too, but there are those that get carried away and want to have the entire book of Psalms inscribed on their body. Good luck.
The real heroes are the ones who have stupid ass, meaningless and irrelevant symbols and images someplace on their body. I mean, what the hell? Man, if this was all it took for me to be cool, I would have signed up a long time ago. This is what I've been missing out on for the last 21 years:



Damn. This is genius. How is it that I never thought of this before? Having the qualities of hot dogs, ketchup and mustard was something I always wanted to profess! Hot women will flock to me and ask, "So...you taste like Nathan's Hot Dogs or what?" Wrong, sweet cheeks; better.
If I wanted to look "gangsta," I would have struck myself silly with a crowbar. I have no desires to look like an asshole, even though the overwhelming majority dresses in a way to remind me that I'm just a little bitch. Right. Get an education first, form complete sentences and use real words so that I don't have to place you in a lower class. Your gun tattoo has already tainted your image and reputation--you're not frightening. Oh, you really do have a gun? On you? All strapped in? Bad news: So do I, and I'm crazier than you.
So what else could you get a tattoo of to be included in this "elite" list?
- Japanese cartoon characters
- Famous sports figures
- Fictional characters from famous movies.
- Spouse image (still alive)
- Girlfriend image (you're just dating after a few months)
- Foreign symbols that mean somethi--
I'm just going to stop right there at foreign symbols. What...the HELL...does it mean...when I see a picture of Asian calligraphy on your shoulder? When I play basketball at school, I see some sort of Chinese character on someone's chest when I'm guarding them. I'm fearful, because I don't know if I should expect for the person to yell something in Chinese, Japanese or Korean. I'm prepared for when they switch the 'L' and 'R' around, though. They also seem to be the threatening type, making up stories that they know Jiu-Jitsu. An elbow to the groin will settle that.
I'm not that quick to judge, but I know gang symbols and other associations when I see them. Come visit northwest Indiana and Chicago sometime. Anyways, when you include yourself in such an exlcusive group, you tell me many things: You do some things you really don't want to do. You are a coward. You are the boss' tool...and no, you don't get "dat stacka' paper!"
Tattoos get you attention, mainly unwanted attention. As judgmental as this sounds, you'll be surprised by how many people look down on you for the $200 pen and ink job that has the potential of becoming a waste. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Also, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship break ups are as common as corn fields here in the Midwest. Even if you do get hitched, piss your money away on something else, like a meth lab. You'll both feel really, really good for cheap.
- Famous sports figures
- Fictional characters from famous movies.
- Spouse image (still alive)
- Girlfriend image (you're just dating after a few months)
- Foreign symbols that mean somethi--
I'm just going to stop right there at foreign symbols. What...the HELL...does it mean...when I see a picture of Asian calligraphy on your shoulder? When I play basketball at school, I see some sort of Chinese character on someone's chest when I'm guarding them. I'm fearful, because I don't know if I should expect for the person to yell something in Chinese, Japanese or Korean. I'm prepared for when they switch the 'L' and 'R' around, though. They also seem to be the threatening type, making up stories that they know Jiu-Jitsu. An elbow to the groin will settle that.
I'm not that quick to judge, but I know gang symbols and other associations when I see them. Come visit northwest Indiana and Chicago sometime. Anyways, when you include yourself in such an exlcusive group, you tell me many things: You do some things you really don't want to do. You are a coward. You are the boss' tool...and no, you don't get "dat stacka' paper!"
Tattoos get you attention, mainly unwanted attention. As judgmental as this sounds, you'll be surprised by how many people look down on you for the $200 pen and ink job that has the potential of becoming a waste. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Also, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship break ups are as common as corn fields here in the Midwest. Even if you do get hitched, piss your money away on something else, like a meth lab. You'll both feel really, really good for cheap.

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